Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
