I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
