bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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