All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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