You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
