We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
