No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
