fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
