just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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