just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
