good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
