mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
