There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
