he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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