Betty ford says i'm here all night
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
