FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize