I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
