I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
