Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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