im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
