That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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