looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize