so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
