ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize