She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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