We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
