We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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