My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
