She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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