Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
There's even glitter on my cock...
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