And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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