There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
