She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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