well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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