so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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