So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize