we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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