Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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