goodnight i made you a song goodbye
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
