I wanna bring you to show and tell
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
