Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
