too bad you live with your parents still
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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