OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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