If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
