1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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