i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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