I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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