I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
