3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize