I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
