YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
