Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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