remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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