So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
