so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
