i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
