i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
