dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
