i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize