I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize