i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
