More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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