walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
